A Plan For Every Rocky Situation

God has a plan for everything in your life. Everything that happens, bad or good, it is all for a reason. I'm sure you've heard it many times before, but it's because it's completely true! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
The Bad: The part no one really like to talk about.
Whether it is to teach you a lesson about life or to flip you up side down and get you to do things differently, God has a plan for the bad stuff. My grandmother's death brought me so low that only God's love, forgiveness, and grace could have pulled me out. He saved me. He also brought be a lot closer to my family. For 2 years straight I went to Helena with my mom every weekend. I would say Grandma's death marked the ending of my little kid age. I saw my Nottos every holiday, but it was always the same. All of us cousins went up stairs and played. (Don't get me wrong, it was a blast) But I was completely missing the wonderful group of adults downstairs. I am so grateful for those two years. I really got to know my aunts and uncles. I mean, of course, I loved them before, but it was always "Hi how are you?" Hug. Go up stairs and play. But most of all I am thankful for my time with Grandpa. He went to go meet up in Heaven with his wife on October 6th, 2010, in my 9th grade year. And that was the second time my heart broke.
That year I also had to leave my beautiful Shilling and move up to the high school. Mrs. Shilling was my Civics teacher, and sponsor over the Green Team at BJH. Yeah, I know that may sound silly to most of you. Being completely torn up by leaving a teacher. But she was never just a teacher. A constant mentor, like having the perfect mix of mom and best friend at school with me every day. Talking to her about every little problem, whether it was just feeling down, or my grandpa passing away. She saw every side of me: happy, bitter, completely broken. Everything. And I will always count her as a mother. Also that year my beautiful sister, Madeline, and for sure best friend, Emily Pilcher, were graduating. I was angry at God. Furious. He was taking everyone away from me! Shilling my rock at school, Madeline my rock to every bad moment at home, Emily my rock for everywhere and everything.
Why was this happening to me? No, I wasn't the best Christian. I only read my bible at church. I didn't curse, I tried to be nice to people as much as possible, I didn't party or anything, and I was at church every time to doors were open. No, I wasn't the best, but I wasn't horrible. Again I was left confused and furious with God. What was he doing?! I was bitter. I was angry. I was sad. It took me until beach camp that summer to grasp that I was putting those people above God. While I understood a little more, I was still so heartbroken. I was not putting anything into my relationship with Christ.
While I had gotten hints on what I should do, actually I was basically full out told for two years, I refused it. I ran away. I spent a long time running. Especially recently. With once again my whole group of friends about to graduate, I've been pretty messed up. Spending quite a few hours feeling alone and just sobbing in my room. And that's where Katie Clifton comes in. Her love, obedience, and radical passion for God has made me start rethinking things. And until about two weeks ago I hadn't really stopped running from God.
God doesn't want some of my heart. He doesn't just want it when he has to finally crush me down, or that Sunday every once in a while when I'm really feeling good in worship. He wants me. ALL of me! For me to every day die to myself and follow him. Luke 9:23-24 "Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." To have faith in him in all situations. Psalm 62:8 "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." I am broken. And God is once again there (knowing he never really left) to pick up the pieces. Forging me in the fire to make a true follower. This weekend really solidified the steps I've been taking. Trying to read my bible before a few weeks ago was a check list, it felt like work. Now, I find my self in God's word a few times a day! Seeing what he has to show me through his word! And not just there! I'm thinking and talking to God all day! Trying to see what paths I should take in my every day life! I can already feel Satan trying to slip his way back in my life, but I AM NOT ALLOWING IT! God alone is giving the strength and faith I need!

James 1:2-3 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
John 14:6 "Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"
At some point in 8th grade, Mark asked us to pray a bold prayer. To pray for God to put us through trials so we could become closer to him. I prayed that prayer and I got shaken. And I'm finally fully reawakened to God. I can't express to you enough how happy I am! While God is still doing some rearranging in my heart, I have peace. He is giving me that. While my faith is still constantly being tested, I bring it right back to him, and his word! I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT GOD HAS IN STORE!